Battle of the Bulge - by Barbara Warnock

Someone read my mind...

"I'll start a new one Monday", we've heard it all before,
but if I don't really start one soon I won't make it through the door.

I start with good intentions of that I can't deny,
I'm getting fatter by the hour, I'll really have to try.

So no more chips or chocolate, no more 'pigging out'
I'll be be very careful what I eat of that there'll be no doubt.

I'll watch my waist get tiny, I'll watch my figure thin,
Oh what a joy it's going to be to at last be nice and slim.

I can see me walking down the street in dress size number ten,
I just have to resist and resist I will when I get a hungry yen.

With exercise in every form and regular daily jogs,
you'll see me lazing by the pool in my top designer togs.

So come join me all you tubbies, come join with me at last,
I'll need all the help that I can get to get me through this fast.

If you see me eating lollies or sneaking greasy fries,
then smack my hand and click your tongue, remind me of my size.

I'm sure that I can make it, I just need a little space
before Monday comes around again, till then I'll "stuff my face"!